Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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