his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
