sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
