We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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