i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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