I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
