You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
