Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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