At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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