i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
