Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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