Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
