they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
