hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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