i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize