i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
