the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
ok first of all what the fuck
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
