if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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