Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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