I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
