People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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