remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
