I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
