HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All the doctor said was why
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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