Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
