Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
