god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
