It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this will be a night to untag.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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