I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
