We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
