You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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