Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
