Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
