Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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