I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
