He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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