the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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