You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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