Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
