Ambien. No doubt about it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
