I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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