chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
