what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
