I want to make a zoo with you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
