I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
