Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
