can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
