Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
