this just has baby written all over it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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