i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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