We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize