your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
