I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
