worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
