I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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