i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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