i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
