I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
