omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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