dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
