she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
