brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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