I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
