Rock
Scissors
Fuck
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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