Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
