you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
